also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
