as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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