i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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