Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
