I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
