I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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