I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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