Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
