every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
