i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
