I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
