just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
