I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
