K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
