I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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