Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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