Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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