She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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