So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
