also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
