when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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