This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
