I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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