exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
