i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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