what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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