I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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