News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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