the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
