she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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