I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
