He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
