i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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