Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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