Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
