who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
