Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
