I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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