New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
