Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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