no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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