The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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