Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
