I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
