If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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