Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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