I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You have to summon your inner elephant
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
