Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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