after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
