Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
