these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
