so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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