I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
