yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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